Her jokes

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.

She is not “fun to be around.”

Yo mama so fat, her birth certificate was an apology letter.

My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."

Who likes Fortnite? Gwen Stacy is in the game, let's goooooo! I love her!

Everyone at the Queen's funeral:

Me and the boys getting her reboot card.

Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.

What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?

Adolf Hit-her.

Why is Chloe's forehead so big? Because her forehead is king-size.

What did the tree do to the emo? Left her hanging.

Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Yo momma is so old, her birthday's expired.

Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?

I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.

Yo mama so ugly, she has a sign in her garden saying, “Beware of the dog!”

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.

A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!

Yo momma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her.