Her jokes
What did the tree do to the emo? Left her hanging.
I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.
Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!
I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies.
She is not “fun to be around.”
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
Yo momma's legs are like cottage cheese: white and chunky.
Yo momma's so dirty that when I asked what was for dinner, she sat on the table, opened her legs, and said "Crabs."
She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.
How you know it’s her time in MJ's house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No? Neither did he.
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh for god's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.
The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"