Her jokes

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.

There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.

Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?

Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.

Dad: She had to take the deep penis.

Son: Umm...... WHAT!?

Dad: I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS.

Dad: Oh for god's sakes.

Dad: Epi Pen.

I first saw her in the Walmart picking out your drawers.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No? Neither did he.

I gave Helen Keller an Oculus and AirPods for her 12th birthday, and she hated them and me.

I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.

Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Because her students were so bright.

Yo mama is so ugly that Kanye West went East to get away from her.

Yo mama is so ugly that James Charles rejected her.

Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?

A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.

You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)

Your momma so fat she can feed [the] entire continent of Africa with her fat!

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.

What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?

Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.

If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.

What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?

Adolf Hit-her.