Her Jokes

A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex.

The poor guy asks the rich guy, "What'd you get for your wife today?"

The rich guy replies, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes."

The poor guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"

The rich guy says, "If she doesn't like the diamond ring, then she can return it in her Mercedes."

The rich guy asks the poor guy, "What'd you get for your wife?"

The poor guy says, "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."

The rich guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"

The poor guy says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, then she can go f*** herself."

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

What is a redneck virgin?

Answer: A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!

Yo mama so fat, Bill Gates went broke trying to buy her dinner.

Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.

I saw a girl crying. I asked her where her parents were, and she started to cry even more.

Man, I love working in the orphanage.

I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.

She gave me a hug.

Yo mama so old,

her memory is black and white.

What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.

Yo mama's so fat her belly button has an echo.

Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

A girl walks up to her blind friend who she had not seen in a while and says: "Long time no see!"

Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.

I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

I know this isn't about glue, but here's one:

Cardi B had a sister who was obsessed with fitness. Her name? Cardi O.

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.