Her jokes
Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?
In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢
What is white, black, and red and can't fit through a revolving door?
A nun with a spear through her head!
Why did the little girl flush herself down the toilet?
Because she wanted to join the Brownies.
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.
And I asked him what he is doing.
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.
Me: Erm... Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
Yo momma's so gay, you sucked her balls.
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
Joe mama's so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it’s still printing!
Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.
Yo mama is so ugly, if she got a pound for every boy that found her unattractive, boys would find her attractive.
Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”
She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? A redneck virgin.
What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?
Her, probably.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.