Help jokes
What is humble, holy, and helps?
An angle...
A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"
BA DUM TSS
Where did little Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
Good news! There's a new program to help autistic people. It's called Action T-4.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.
After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.
And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"
God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"
Guys, I have a dilemma. I'm a beta, please help!
I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
Tesco's slogan is "Every little helps."
Well, their bag did a wonderful job on suffocating my wife.
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.
His name is "Daddy!" HELP!
What could've the Towers done to not start 9/11?
Call 911.
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
I wouldn't call a Suicide Help-line even if my life depended on it.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Have you ever tried anal bleaching?
It really helps assholes lighten up.