Height jokes
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
I’m a short joke.
I’m only five feet tall 😞
Yo mama so tall, she eats paramedics.
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Why did the midgets laugh when they run?
Because their balls dragged along the ground. 😅😂🤣
How tall does the grass grow in Germany?
Zis high!
Midget
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
Why do dwarfs laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
You're so short, you have to yell to talk to people!
Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."
Off the nearby cliff.
A pilot is having a talk with one of his passengers. The passenger asks, "Why did you become a pilot?" The pilot replies with, "To face my fears." The passenger then says, "You're afraid of heights?" "No, I'm afraid of dying alone."
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
I'M SHORTTT!
I got in a car crash with a dwarf one day. He came storming out, and glared at me. I lowered my window and called out, "So, I'm guessing you're not happy?"
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
When dwarfs get high, do they just get medium?
Mfs be saying Kobe is good at basketball cause he is 6 feet, ye 6 feet underground.
Give a man a plane ticket, he’ll fly for a day. Push a man out of a plane flying 10,000 miles up, he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?
Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.