Height jokes
What is tall when it's young but short when it's old?
A candle or a pencil!
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
Yo mama so fat, she is 4 feet tall laying down.
Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!
Dad: "If they jumped off a bridge, would you?"
Tommy: "Yes, cuz there would be a body pile to break my fall!"
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"
I walked up to a man, and he said, "How's the weather up there?" and then I pushed him into the street to get hit by a bus.
Why are short people sad?
Don't judge though, it's crap but...
Because they couldn't reach happiness.
You're so short, when you were born, the doctor couldn't tell if you were a boy, a girl, or a Jimmy Dean pork sausage.
What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.
I hate child murderers, they're always so high-pitched.
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.
So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."