Height Jokes

An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.

So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.

Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.

Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!

It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."

Why are midgets short?

'Cause they are!

You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Suck dick.

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Perform fellatio.

Why did Sally fall dead?

Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!

Why don't midgets use tampons?

Answer: They are always tripping over the string.

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!

You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.

You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.

You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.

You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.

You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.

You're so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.

You’re so short, you could sweep under your bed while standing.

You’re so short, I bet you don’t have to bend to tie your shoelaces.