Hearing jokes

Do you want to hear a cold joke?

Can't. It warmed up.

Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."

What do you call a dead polar bear?

Anything, they can't hear you!

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!

OK, I hear the chat since you can't email for whatever reason.

Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.

Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.

Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?

Now he's a bronze fish.

What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?

Goddammit, Jamal!

Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.

Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.

Hitler says, “Yes.”

Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”

Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”

Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?

- Sure.

Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]

Wanna hear a pizza joke?

Never mind, it's too cheesy.

Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.

Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?

Sorry, still working on it!

Did you hear about the new doggy condos?

Apparently they are now releasing!

Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?

My life.

Did you hear the pickle joke?

It's actually a really big dill.

Why could you not hear the dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.

Did you hear about Fridgetair

Kelvinator?

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?

Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.

Mom: Can you hear them?

Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.

Mom: Why do you think that?

Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.