Hearing jokes
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
- Sure.
Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]
Why could you not hear the dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
You when you face the boss the first time: :)
You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(
You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(
You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:
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Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?
You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.
Have you ever heard of hearing aids?
Yeah, me neither.
Why can’t orphans tell these jokes?
Because they're fun for the whole family to hear.