What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.
Have you ever heard of hearing aids?
Yeah, me neither.
Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch.
He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says, "What was that all about?"
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
Do you want to hear a cold joke?
Can't. It warmed up.
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!
OK, I hear the chat since you can't email for whatever reason.
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?
Now he's a bronze fish.
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
- Sure.
Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]
Wanna hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
