Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?
Now he's a bronze fish.
OK, I hear the chat since you can't email for whatever reason.
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
"Do you want to hear a joke?"
"Yes."
"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.
You when you face the boss the first time: :)
You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(
You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(
You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:
. --------
Stalin asked Hitler if he wants to hear a joke.
Hitler says, “Yes.”
Stalin then says, “Moscow.” Hitler replies with “I don’t get it?”
Stalin laughs for a long time and says, “And you never will.”
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
One day I caught my sister talking to my girlfriend, and she said, "You never told me you're lesbian." I said, "No, not at all." My girlfriend asked, "Why did you not tell her?" and I said, "Because every time I bring a girl home, I hear too much noise in her room, and I never get the chance to kiss them because she's cleaning the trash." She said, "Yeah, the trash is her junk."
