Hearing jokes

Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.

Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.

Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.

You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)

Never mind. You won't understand.

Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:

Sit-ups: 50

Push-ups: 40

Squats: 30

Do 5 sets.

Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?

He'll have you in "Stitches"!

I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉

Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.

When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.

Wanna hear a joke?

My life.

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.

"Do you want to hear a joke?"

"Yes."

"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"

You when you face the boss the first time: :)

You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(

You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(

You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:

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You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.

Have you ever heard of hearing aids?

Yeah, me neither.

Why can’t orphans tell these jokes?

Because they're fun for the whole family to hear.

Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?

What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?

Womxn

Did you hear that Rushdie has a new book? It's titled "Buddha, that Fat Fuck."