Hearing jokes
Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?
Pretty nuts, huh?
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
My friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: No.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because you are a joke.
Friend: Your life is too...
Me: :)
Friends :)
Want to hear a dad joke? Look in the mirror. You get the joke.
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
You want to hear a joke?
Your mom.
Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?
A: No, what happened?
Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
Did you hear about the tourist that came to New York? Good, because they were a terrorist... When they were asked why they were traveling, they just mispronounced it.
Question:
Did you hear the one about MAGA people?
Answer:
It "sucks" just like they do!
What did the DJ name his son?
Eric.