Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?
A: No, what happened?
Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
"Do you want to hear a joke?"
"Yes."
"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
I would make a joke about short people, but they probably couldn't hear it.
Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?
OMg!
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
You when you face the boss the first time: :)
You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(
You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(
You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:
. --------
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Why can’t orphans tell these jokes?
Because they're fun for the whole family to hear.
