Hearing jokes
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
Wanna hear a joke?
Police brutality.
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
I asked my sister to say something.
She said, "No."
That's what I like to hear.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl๐ฆ
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," Iโm drowning in the tub.
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
Wanna hear a joke?
Look in the mirror; I'm sure you'll find one there :')
You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)
Never mind. You won't understand.
Wanna hear a skeleton joke?
Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.
My life.
Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?
Pretty nuts, huh?