Hearing jokes
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.
My life.
Wanna hear a skeleton joke?
Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?
A: No, what happened?
Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.
Did you hear about the song Rihanna wrote about the tin can?
It was called "S & N."
Did you hear about the elephant with no nose?! Me neither.
When you're sitting by the mushrooms and you hear one say to the other "Hey, you're a fun guy."
I asked my sister to say something.
She said, "No."
That's what I like to hear.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl๐ฆ
"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," Iโm drowning in the tub.