When you’re in india and you start hearing a tick tick tick tick you run
did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck? He got stuck in Orbit! Hehhehe
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry. She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldnt hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.
Who wants to hear the biggest joke ever?
My life🖤
What did the baritone say to the alto?
Nothing, you couldn’t hear him
ever heard of rape jokes? no? well, i'll MAKE you hear em!
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late? His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!” He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!” He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?” “No, this is the rink manager!”
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell
A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America, The Mexican man come up with some sob story and the police say all right all right ok says the police. ill let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it. The Mexicans thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says ok ok let's hear it after waiting impatiently, the Mexican said ok ok don't rush me I'm ready. The Mexican replied ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow !!!!
Did you hear about the new Chinese food? It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Other jokes:
1. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.
2. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing?
3. How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it.
4. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells!
5. How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.
6. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
7. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball.
8. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.
Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con
Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale? It comes with no strings attached.
Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.
Did you hear about the guy that posts all of the "Hairline Jokes"?
Answer; Yeah, he's a COMPLETE IDIOT!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiots house. Ok wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Girl come hear my parents aren't home orphan mine are never
