wanna hear the car joke. nah it's to fast for you.
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
wanna hear a construction joke. nah i'm still working on it.
I will always remember the last noise i hear in my school, "oogga booga motherf****rs," click, boom
A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."
Why can't you hear a dinosaurs clap? They're dead
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restauraunt down the street?
Yeah he Pasta-Way
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
Did you hear about the unborn fetus, oh wait, nevermine, it must have been aborted from the sight
When your little brother hears noice from tour room and your the only one in it
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late? His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
Hey wanna hear a construction joke? -sure Oh sorry I'm still working on it :-]
wanna hear a skeleton joke? sorry i don't have the guts to tell it
one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, "No, shes upstairs with Uncle john" "Uncle john? i don't know an Uncle John." "no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy" "no i'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family." "Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally. "Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now." "Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!' "Great job Sally! What did she says?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
then dad replies "Swimming pool? we dont have a...is this 468-1843?"
Stephen hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged
He also forgot to pay the power bill
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy you would hear Stephen Hawking
Do you wanna hear a joke about vegetables? Never mind, it's too corny
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually I shouldn't spread it.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1:God,I can only imagine what was going through those kids heads in the last moments of their lives... Person 2:Probably Bullets Person 1:OMG!!Can you even think of what their parents are going through?! Person 2:Probably Coffin Brochures Person 1:.... Person 2:Its called dark humor.Dark humor is like food,not everyone gets it.
Did you hear the rumors about butter? Nevermind - you shouldn't spread them
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down
