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Hearing

Hearing jokes

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.

Me: Want to hear a joke?

Friend: Sure.

Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.

Friend: What's funny about that?

Me: Because the next day they disowned me.

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    • Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

    I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

    Hey, you wanna hear something funny?

    An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.

    Two boys are talking on the bus.

    Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.

    Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?

    Boy 1: Oh, that's right.

    Want to hear an inside joke? I walked into a house.

    Want to hear an outside joke? I walked out of that house.

    Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.

    Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?

    A: No, what happened?

    Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!

    I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won't be able to hear it!

    Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.

    My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!

    Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?

    That's okay. There is really no point to it.