So a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on; Doctor: "so your wife she is paralyzed from the neck down" and as the doctor goes he says all the things the man must do for her like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says " why, WHY ME!" Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the mans ear and says " I'm just fuckin with u she's DEAD!"
Q: What’s the difference between me and cancer? A: My dad didn’t beat cancer...
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterwords he's sitting the the doctor's office and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "well, at least I don't have cancer."
My syndrome may be down but my hopes are up !
Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.
Son:Mom, I did the test and I have cancer!
Mom:YOU HAVE CANCER?!
Son:Mom, as my zodiac symbol...
Mom:....
there was a guy how had a stroke eh. hes all right.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person." said the other.
Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!
Me: Mom i think i need to go to the hospital ......Mom: OMG Why son ......Me: Idk whats wrong but everytime i close my eyes i can see
.....Think about it then spread LMAO
Se we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of "do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She herd this question to the point were she just says yes without hesitation. Once she had said yes, two kids int he back started laughing. Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you? Kid: Oh were not laughing at that. Kid_2: Were laughing at cancer.
the reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the Doctor's office. When he gets there, the Doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the Doc why? The Doc said, "So I can examine you!"
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live - the doctor replied tu-more
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!” She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?” To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
One day a man was fixing a car, an he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like "dude, this can't be healthy." But he said "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
timmy goes to the doctor and says theirs a crack in my butt doctor, Timmy their is a crack is everyone butt see
My wife was going to have a abortion and I have cancer Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny
Do you know how Diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
