Health jokes
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
"Don't have sex" - Jake.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his DENTAL FLOW checked.
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"
Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?
Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?
Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his fillings checked.
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
Why did Daveon go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling "Daveon" in the dumps.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
Because they're all about those DENTAL GRILLS!
If laughter is contagious, Kris's jokes are immunity.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
Well, my dad couldn't beat cancer.
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he never skipped a beat!
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
Because he had too many FILL-INS.