New Health Jokes - Page 10 - Worst Jokes Ever

Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt?

A. They call an AmBOOlance.

I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."

Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.

I asked my friend what happened to him?

His balance shifted.

What do you call an Irish person having a seizure? A Shamrock Shake.

What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.

It’s called Finding Chemo.

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw them some laundry.

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?

AIDS.

What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?

Gonorrhea.

Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.

Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.

Me: Oh, I already tried that.

A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: Do you know how often people die from AIDS?

I said: Now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.

What is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch a cold.

Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?

Them: What's on your arm?

Me: I'm training to breathe fire ;)

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist.

Home Covid Test.

1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.

2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.

3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.

Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.

I am so nervous.