Health jokes
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
That feeling when elbow surgery was yesterday.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
Roses are red, oranges are orange.
Get a life, quit watching porn.
What were the last words of your grandma in 2020?
"Oh, I think I forgot my mask!"
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”