What were the last words of your grandma in 2020?
"Oh, I think I forgot my mask!"
Health Jokes
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?
VEGETABLE OIL!
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?
One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
What do you call lesbian sex during their period?
A blood transfusion.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.
