Health jokes
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
I finally know why my brain doesn't work!
On the left side, there's nothing right, and on the right side, there's nothing left.
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
Why do Asians have squinty eyes?
Because atomic bombs are pretty damn bright.
I just found out I'm colorblind. News came out of the purple.
Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?
Air quality alert code brown!
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
That feeling when elbow surgery was yesterday.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth?
Gingervitus.
I'm always willing to go down on a handicapped girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?