Health jokes
What’s the hamburgler’s retarded cousin? Aspergler.
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.
COVID-19 won't last long... it's made in China.
A cop pulls over an old man.
The cop walks up to the old man and says, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
The old man said, "No."
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
What does a bird say when it gets sick?
I flu!
How to learn your Vitamins:
A = Art.
B = Bouncy Balls.
C = Cookies.
D = Da Sun.
You'll be smarter than a doctor next time you visit!
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
Why is the orange 🍊 the fastest fruit?
Because it never runs out of juice.
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.
What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?
They both break your heart.
Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.
Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"
Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"
Sally fell off the swing.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Sally.
What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?
They never get old.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
China wants their name on everything but the m.f. virus.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My father didn’t beat cancer.