My mom told me to unplug all the electronics, so I unplugged my grandma's life support.
An old lady was low on money because she had spent all of her money on clothes.
So she decided to go to the bank. She walked up to the guy at the desk. She asked if he could check her balance. He asked a few questions to the old lady, like her weight and her height. He asked her if she had done any exercise recently. She was very confused. She got angry and asked the man again to check her balance. So he stood up, walked next to her and pushed her over. He came to the conclusion that she had a low balance.
What did buttholes say after taking a dump?
Buttholes say what a good diarrhea dump.
During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
"Just say no to drugs!"
Well, if I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.
What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? "Together we can stop this shit!"
If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."
Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
Why is 2020 the worst year? Because COVID-19!
My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.
She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!
