Head jokes
You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
"I have a three-head."
"I have a four-head."
Bald people have a seven-head.
Take a step back... just like your hairline did.
This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"
The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."
The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."
Do the voice in your head.
Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.
Your hairline looks like it was drawn onto your head.
I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?
A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.
Your hairline goes so far back, your forehead got a six pack.
Your hairline caused the solar flare.
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.