Head Jokes

You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.

They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!

You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.

You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.

You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.

What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?

Answer: Putin, put out!

"I have a three-head."

"I have a four-head."

Bald people have a seven-head.

Take a step back... just like your hairline did.

This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"

The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."

The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."

Do the voice in your head.

Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.

Your hairline looks like it was drawn onto your head.

I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!

What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!

They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.

Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.

I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

Are your forehead and your hairline best friends because they look like they go way back?

A boy's hairline is always in the back of his head, and its shape is like a check mark.

Your hairline goes so far back, your forehead got a six pack.