Head jokes
What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?
Panera head.
I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
What do you find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?
Heads and shoulders.
🎆 New Year's Eve
Lil Johnny👦: "Every year the same, people always have to start banging before midnight!"
Mom👱🏻♀️: "Johnny, would you please leave the bedroom now?"
Dad👨🏻🦰: "Son, if you don't leave, it'll bang on your head!"
Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!
You're so ugly whenever you say hi, people walk away and say that you were too ugly, and they go take a bath right away because you're so stinky.
They say that you look like your mama. Wait, your mama must be just like you because I can see her way from a mile!
You say you put on perfume, but every time I smell you, you smell like poo-poo. You're so ugly that when your mom looks in the mirror, you cry. You're so stupid the second-grade teacher had to tell you to go all the way to kindergarten. Head Start is every grade below you. You can't even go to the 20th grade, which stands for 9th grade. You can't even go to grocery stores, and people that tell you that you're so ugly give you compliments just to make you feel better. You know that everybody just likes you just because they just don't want to hurt your feelings, so just stay in your mind. Hey, you want to text Matt; you know it was you because every time you see you, you think that you matter. Matter fact, he doesn't even like you; he just wants your money girl. Who even likes you? 😈😈
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
You're so bald, the reflection off your head is blinding people in India.
You're so bald, United Airlines has asked for permission to land.
You're so bald, I rub your head to see into the future.
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
"I have a three-head."
"I have a four-head."
Bald people have a seven-head.
Take a step back... just like your hairline did.
This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"
The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."
The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."
Do the voice in your head.
Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.
Your hairline looks like it was drawn onto your head.
I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!