Have jokes
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?
What do apples and depressed kids have in common?
They both hang on trees.
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.
I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
What's worse than having ants in your pants?
Uncles.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"
So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.
Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
I looked in the mirror yesterday. I still have nightmares...
Ever tried Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.