Have jokes
What's the difference between a car and a car?
I have absolutely no idea, sorry.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?
How do rappers stay cool?
They have MAD ICE!
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
Yo mama's so fat that even Dora don't have time to explore her!
Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.
I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.
Btw, it's a joke lol.
Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
Hey, if you've watched Twilight with Edward, Bella, and Jacob, then here's something for you.
Do you think Bella should have gotten with Jacob? I think she should have, ngl.
Why can't orphans do it?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.
Why do orphans hate the internet?
Because on the internet, people have families.
Q: What’s Jackie Chan‘s favorite drink to have at a bar?
A: Wo-Tah!
Kid: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
Nerd: Because they're marsupials.
Kid: No, because they didn’t have the koala-fication!