Have jokes

Why can I be black? Because I look like I have puberty, and I sound like I had puberty.

Hey guys, I haven't been on in like freaking forever! Sorry. Anyways, I love you, Emerald! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I hope you're on!

Love you all. Hope you all have a nice day, Best regards, Koko, <3

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

I see 6 letters in "the past."

I have 2020 vision.

I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.

Have you ever walked into Jason Fraser’s house?

Neither has he.

I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.

My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.

If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

We have a new member of staff here today. He has no arms, no legs, and no body. He will be known as "The Head."

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

"Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man."

"After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!"

I have the best joke:

"You."

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

How many victims does Shaw have?

We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.

What does a kite and a criminal have in common?

They both get high.

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

Jack and Rose went on a cruise to do it in the water.

Jack seldom wore a condom, and now they have a daughter.

You: OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THE KRAP THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH!

The other person: Who?

You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks.

SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!