Have jokes
What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
Why can’t orphans date?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What do orphans do after they win a game?
Nothing, they have no one to play games with.
I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
Yo hairline so long that it doesn't have a stopping point.
Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have another pair of balls.
Ol' Mate Shane Warne has sadly passed away. He was probably Australia's Greatest Ever Cricketer. RIP Ol' Mate Warney, died doing what you loved, having gay sex with men and doing cocaine! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Like if you RIP Shane Warne 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
What do orphans and sperm donor kids have in common? They don't have dads.
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they have no one to call "daddy."