Have jokes
Why did the African 3 year old cry?
He was having a midlife crisis.
One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.
I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."
Why can't England play chess?
Because they have no queen, and they will soon lose their king.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
Why did the blonde have sex with the Mexican?
Because her teacher told her she had to do an essay.
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
Your hairline is the reason why some women have miscarriages.
What is the difference between the National Organization For Carpet Munchers and the National Organization For Women?
The National Organization For Women has more experience in being a carpet muncher because they eat more pussy.
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.