Have jokes

I heard that the Twin Towers have some plane DNA.

I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.

Why can't Americans play chess? They have no towers.

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.

Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

When cops say you have the right to remain silent,

You're just happy you have the right to do something.

How do you know Adam and Eve were white?

Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?

What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both got taken out by two jets.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

What do a blind kid and an orphan have in common?

They can’t see their parents.

Why do cemeteries have fences?

Because people are dying to be there.

What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?

They both get really high.

A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."

The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"

The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."

Why do women have two sets of lips?

I kiss both.

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."

What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?

They both get smoked in bowls.

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.