Have jokes
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
A man is depressed and he sighs. A bully says, "Stop sighing, you sound like some guys having a threesome!"
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both love naughty souls.
What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?
It's a motherfucking shitshow party!
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
Memories: I have ligma.
Ligma what?
Ligma balls.
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?
Why do orphans only have 354 days?
'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!
What does an orphan and a dog have in common?
Both got taken from their parents.
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
I saw an ad that said, "By the time this ad is over, two identities would have been stolen." So, I did what I had to do and skipped the ad! You're welcome to the two people's identities I saved!
Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!
Why couldn't the orphan have the bag of chips?
It was family size.
Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?
Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.