Have jokes
A missionary went to visit an orphanage in Thailand. After looking around, he asked the manager, "Why do these kids have numbers instead of names on their shirts? And why are some of them the same?"
The manager smiled and said, "Those are price tags."
Why have there been so many deaths around the world?
Trees and ropes.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Have you heard of China...
China fit this dick in your mouth.
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
Why did 10 have trauma?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
Why don't dwarfs have cars?
Because they can't get in the door.
What do Myspace and my dad have in common?
I haven't seen them in a while.
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they finally have someone to call father.
What do Jesus and I have in common?
No one knows my real bday either.
Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Why do Orphans like school?
Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.
I have a Twin Towers model in my room.
It got infested with jumping spiders.