Have jokes
Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.
What does cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
What do kids play when they have nothing else to do?
Bored games.
My manager told me to have a good day. So I didn't go into work.
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*
Why can’t Chinese people have a white baby?
Because two wongs don’t make a white.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both shove their meat between 10-year-old buns.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
They both used to be straight.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
Bro, if you have anorexia, you have no skin at all.
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?