Have jokes
This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"
Why do Jews have big noses?
Because air is free...
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?
A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.
What's the difference between yo mama and German men?
The balls... German men don't have them.
Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?
He didn't have a good counter act!
What does weed and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.
Who needs dating apps when you have family reunions?
What do math and me on P-hub have in common?
They are both hard.
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."
I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I have five fingers, two of them are for you.
What does Leo have in common with a newspaper?
They both love to yap and babble, and they always get fondled by old people.
If BlessedBrian were ANY LESS intelligent, he’d have to be WATERED twice a week.
If brains were dynamite, BLESSEDBRIAN wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.
What did the rapper say when he lost his voice?
"I guess I'll have to drop a SILENT TRACK!"