Have jokes
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
The types you can have.
"Don't have sex" - Jake.
A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."
A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."
What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"
Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."
America Twin Tower: "Hey, have you seen the Malaysian Twin Tower? I have, but only from 1971 to 2001."
Malaysian Twin Tower: "I STOOD LONGER!"
What do British politics and transgender people have in common?
Both aren't what they used to be...
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.
BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.