Have jokes
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
"Ugly kid, I feel ugly."
"Me? You don't have feel ugly, you already ugly."
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
You know how all zodiacs have hairstyles... well not Cancers.
What does a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus have in common? They're both thinking; "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂
I have 206 bones, but when I see you, I have 207.
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?
A: Because they have the balls to.
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
What do you and orphans have in common?
Nobody loves you.
What do you and Joe Biden have in common?
Nobody loves you or him.