Hate

Hate Jokes

I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’ I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’

i hate it when I go to the shop and people are like "oh, hey what are you doing here?" me "oh you know just hunting elephants.

I hate prom in Alabama. They always say, "Uhh, actually this is our family reunion." We are in Alabama, so they are the same thing.

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."

One day I went to my friend's apartment and he told me to make myself home. I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors