Happening Jokes

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person "Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945

My parents told me I was born on the highway.

Aparently that’s where most accidents happen.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

me: *gets down on one knee*

girlfriend: omg, it's finally happening

me: *falls over*

girlfriend: the poison is kicking in

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back,". The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking. The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says "step on a line and you break your father's spine,". The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE,". The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

What happens when you combine candy and dick... That creepy guy down the street!

What happened after technoblade died?

Everyone got raw pork chop.

what happens when a black person gets in a car? the check oil light turns on

what happens when you are playing undertale but its snowy in town? it SNOW-d in town!

What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?

where did sally go when the explosion happened?

Everywhere!

What happens at night in Bangladesh? -- It gets Dhaka.

Daughter: mommy what ever happened to Steven hawking? Mother: he died. Daughter: how did he die? Mother: he never got recharged.

what happened when the Cheetah took to many baths? He became spotless!!!

Michael Jackson goes to the doctor

Michael Jackson: Help doctor I've been shot. Doctor: I cant fix that but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again

You know, I got a SKELETON, of these jokes, all are HUMERUS, yeah, this get’s Under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening, hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!

a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that's my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask's whats that,the little girl says "that's my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask's the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try's putting his little red race car in her garage but it won't fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see's blood on the floor the mother ask's "what happened the little girl say's "we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit so i cut the back wheels off"