Happening

Happening jokes

Rape

  • Rape can happen to anybody, so I think I will continue taking the short cut home through the dark alleyways, wearing barely anything and walk really close to bushes.

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  • Mexican

  • There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose?

    Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food, so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.

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  • Rick Astley

  • What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

    You get PRICKrolled.

  • 1
  • Soulmate

  • My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?

    Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.

    Emo kid

  • When an emo kid jumps out of a tree, what happens when he hits the ground?

    Nothin' much, he just flops over an hour later when they untie the rope.

  • 0
  • Height

  • 62 is not just any number, as it so happens to be my height, 6'2", just as 25 is my age on Facebook.

  • 0
  • Attention

  • Little Johnny was not paying attention in class, so the teacher told him, "Do you know what happens when you don't pay attention?"

    Little Johnny said, "No, what?"

    She answered, "The principal's office."

    Then little Johnny said, "Hey teach, do you know what it means when you have balls on your chin?"

    The teacher answered, "No, what?"

    "You have a d!ck in your mouth!"

  • 0
  • Fish

  • A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."

    There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."

    There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."

    There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."

    There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."

    Then it all happened.

    The fly dropped six inches.

    The fish came up and caught the fly.

    The bear came out and caught the fish.

    The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.

    The mouse went for the sandwich.

    The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.

    The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.

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  • Sauce

  • What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?

    She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.

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  • Boss

  • A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."

    "I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

    She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

    After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."

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