HA jokes

I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.

Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.

If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.

When you have a hand clock it goes tic-tac.

When an American has it go backwards, it's tactic.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.

Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.

What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.

Why can't orphans really play baseball?

Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.

What do you call a deer that has no eye? No-eye deer!

If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?

When Ariana Grande broke up with Pete, she said, "I have one less problem without you."

What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian.

What do you call a toy that has a story?

Toy Story.

The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”

“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”

It's sad someone has ligma.

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?

One of them is a domesticated pet.