HA jokes

Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.

Me going to jail for telling the orphan he has 363 days because mothers and Father’s Day.

Q: What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

A: One has hope in her soul and one has soap in her hole.

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.

I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

When you have a hand clock it goes tic-tac.

When an American has it go backwards, it's tactic.

I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.

If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.

My brother apparently has this thing called "asthma". Anyway, I took his vape away today, and he was lying on the floor gasping for air, lol. He must really be addicted to it.

What do you call a toy that has a story?

Toy Story.

The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.”

“Of course it is,” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”

It's sad someone has ligma.

What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?

One of them is a domesticated pet.

What's red and has 7 dents? Snow White's cherry.

I created a website for orphans, though it doesn't have a homepage.

A little riddle...

Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?

...

Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?

What do you call a deer that has no eye? No-eye deer!

Why can't orphans really play baseball?

Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.

Why can't the skeleton go to the dance?

Because he has "no body" to go with!