A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says “well all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket”. So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says “dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument
A knife has a point
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, It has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, It has moved twice so he sinned twice." "The man asks, Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
a man died and went to heaven. here he met jesus. there were two clocks, the man asked whats with the clocks?. jesus answered this is mother theresa's clock she has not lied so the clock hasnt moved, this is abraham lincoln's clock; he's only lied twice so its moved twice. where's donald trumps the man asked. jesus replied: its in my office im using it as a ceiling fan.
A hill billy female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.
The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display. Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfelt's puffy shirt and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal". The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan". Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs and sits in front of your door? Mat.
When ariana grande broke up with pete she said she has on less problem with out you.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Wow gwen even said she loves Tj she just did prince look at it u are going to be crush it is in bored jokes and it has 65 comments look their!
Q .What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregn A. Has an a bosch tion
If A wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been MUGGLED?????
I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books, Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’ I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
When you have a hand clock it goes tic-tac. When an American has it go backwards it tactic.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. Its not dead, just afraid to move.
