Guy Jokes

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An Irish guy walks out of a bar....

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Some guy farts and says "That was some asshole behind me".

There were three guys stranded on a desert island. Each were granted one wish by a genie that found them. The first guy said "i wish to go back home." The second guy says the same, and the third guy said, "im lonely i wish my friends were back here."

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I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed anyone know cpr? I said shit I know all the letters of the alphabet. Everyone laughed well except for this 1 guy

Life lesson guys:

Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.

this guy looked down the aisle and asked hey are those kids all yours an i replied: no i work for a condom company and these kids are just all of my complaints

What's an orphan least favorite film family Guy

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This guy tried to kill me and i asked "what is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied ": nah, its Halloween"

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be Wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite tv show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

Next: Inappropriate Jokes

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

How are guys and tile floors alike

If you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them for years

A guy bought a AMG and crashed it, now he knows how the mercedes BENZ.

why would a dead guy lie?

because he can't stand up

I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's

Hey guys how was ur day? If you ask me the same question heres the answer, depressing. I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old, D.K, freshfry, ALYA's "Jokes" or opinions.