Guy

Guy jokes

This guy looked down the aisle and asked, "Hey, are those kids all yours?" And I replied: "No, I work for a condom company, and these kids are just all of my complaints."

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

"What's your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir." "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, "No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk."

Random guy: Hi, how old are you?

Me: 15

The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.

Me: Do you know what else is a number?

The guy: What?

Me: 911

Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”

Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.

You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.

A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”

He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”

He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”

“No, this is the rink manager!”

I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦‍♂️

If 6 guys are in a room with each other, is it technically a 6-pack?

Me be straight and bored.

Goes to my local bar which has a glory hole.

Out up spending the rest of the night there.

About to leave when, motherfucker, I realize I've been sucking a guy's cock this whole time.

):

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