Guy jokes
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
I wish you guys all died.
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?
An Amish Mechanic.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"I was trying to keep up with traffic," the guy replied.
The cop said, "But there is no traffic."
And the guy answered, "That's how far behind I am."
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....