Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.
What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
Stephen Hawking is a real stand up guy, out-standing performance.
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
