Gun jokes
I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"
The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"
The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"
The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
Famous last words:
"Don't worry man, it's not even loaded."
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.
Robber: This is a robbery, bitch!
Gunsalesman: No u
Guns control.
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
Q: What did I find on my son's search history?
A: Where is the nearest gun shop?
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.