Guess jokes

Guess why orphans can't play baseball? Because they don't know what home is.

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"

I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

What do you call a stabbed pig?

Porkchopped.

What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?

Pork Chopped!

Hah, got 'em (I guess)!

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?

B: I don't know.

A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...

B: ...

Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"

*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"

So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.

Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.

So I guess Ice Cube was right, Eazy's dick smelling like MC Ren's shit, and Eazy died of AIDS.

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

Guess the joke.

Your girlfriend.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!