Guess jokes

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."

Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!

Guess why orphans can't play baseball? Because they don't know what home is.

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?

B: I don't know.

A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...

B: ...

I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.

What do you call a stabbed pig?

Porkchopped.

What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?

Pork Chopped!

Hah, got 'em (I guess)!

Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.

So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.

Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.

So I guess Ice Cube was right, Eazy's dick smelling like MC Ren's shit, and Eazy died of AIDS.

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?

Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.

Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?

My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.

They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.

Bully: Ha, guess what?

Nerd: What?

Bully: You are adopted.

Nerd: At least I was wanted!

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!