Guess jokes

Guess why orphans can't play baseball? Because they don't know what home is.

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?

B: I don't know.

A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...

B: ...

What do you call a stabbed pig?

Porkchopped.

What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?

Pork Chopped!

Hah, got 'em (I guess)!

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.

I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.

Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.

So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.

Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.

So I guess Ice Cube was right, Eazy's dick smelling like MC Ren's shit, and Eazy died of AIDS.

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

Guess the joke.

Your girlfriend.

Yesterday I was in a wind storm.

Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.

Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.

I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

Bully: Ha, guess what?

Nerd: What?

Bully: You are adopted.

Nerd: At least I was wanted!

Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"

....yes, it is "long time no see."