Guess jokes

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!

Guess why orphans can't play baseball? Because they don't know what home is.

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?

B: I don't know.

A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...

B: ...

I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.

What do you call a stabbed pig?

Porkchopped.

What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?

Pork Chopped!

Hah, got 'em (I guess)!

Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

I'd make a joke about corn, but it's too corny.

Then again, I could make a joke about eyes, but that would be even cornea. My funny bone is broken. I guess it was because those jokes were too humerus.

So I guess Ice Cube was right, Eazy's dick smelling like MC Ren's shit, and Eazy died of AIDS.

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?

Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.

Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?

My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.

They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.

Bully: Ha, guess what?

Nerd: What?

Bully: You are adopted.

Nerd: At least I was wanted!

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

Guess the joke.

Your girlfriend.