Guess jokes

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.

So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.

Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.

Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.

I guess they're whore-ible.

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

My mom told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.

My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

Why do orphans have no sense of humor?

I guess they've never heard a dad joke.

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.

Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."

Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.