Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
Guess Jokes
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
Guess what my plans are for the weekend? Suing the NYCDOE for blocking (probably) WEBTOONS.com.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”
I guess you could say, “harassment something.”
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
Why do orphans have no sense of humor?
I guess they've never heard a dad joke.
Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."
Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.
