Guess jokes

Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.

So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.

Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.

Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.

I guess they're whore-ible.

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

My mom told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.

My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

Why do orphans have no sense of humor?

I guess they've never heard a dad joke.

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.