Guess jokes

So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.

What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?

I guess that’s a wrap!

Me: I just came home from Africa, and guess what I saw.

Friend: I don't know.

Me: A black market.

Hey guess what...

What...

My penis is big.

Guess who I saw at school today?

Everyone I looked at. loooooooool

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.

My mom told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"

My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!

Everyone: "Wow, you're so nice and perfect! Your life must be great!"

*Reality of having depression* Me: "Oh yeah, I guess. 😀"

A Russian walked into a bar... Unlucky for him I guess, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.

I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.

Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”