Guess jokes

Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.

Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.

I guess they're whore-ible.

So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.

Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"

I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.

My mom told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.

My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.

I had a friend who got shot in the head.

Guess you could say he was...

Blown Away!

I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"

I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!

Guess what my plans are for the weekend? Suing the NYCDOE for blocking (probably) WEBTOONS.com.

I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

Why do orphans have no sense of humor?

I guess they've never heard a dad joke.

Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."

Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.