Guess Jokes

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.

Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!

Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

I guess you can say he xxxpired.

guess who this is

The image shows a man with glasses, a small beard and a red jacket reclining on a red couch. The text above the image says, "If a client tells you: I know people that charge less". Below the image, it says, "Respond: I got clients that pay more."

I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.

He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.

My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

I said, "Literally."

What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.

Guess what.

What?

Your mum saw your 1 inch.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.

My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.

Have a guess who came crawling back?

The other day a squirrel asked me for a job. I asked him, "What jobs did you have previously?"

Calmly he answered, "I am a pilot. I can pick it up from here and pile it over there. I also can fly a sign!"

"Too bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated. We don't need anyone at this time, sorry."

"No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway. Guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!"

How many babies does it take to replace a light bulb? I'm guessing more than 10 cause its still dark in my basement.

Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?

"I'm stronger than you."

Guess Stephen Hawking never had use for sweatcoin😂

Part 1: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 2: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 3: Two men were walking down the way when the third one came.

Part 4: Guess what... two men were walking down the way when the second one fell in the sewers and died... The first one was lonely.

My sister got in a car crash a couple days ago. When she got to the hospital, the doctor told her that she needed to get metal mechanics in her leg.

She got really scared and yelled at the doctor, telling them that, “I will not get those implanted in my leg.” I guess she just doesn’t associate with knee gears.

Today I Vance a blind guy a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. Since I have no fingerprints, the police said it was suicide. I guess you can say I took care of him!