Guess jokes

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!

Bully: Ha, guess what?

Nerd: What?

Bully: You are adopted.

Nerd: At least I was wanted!

Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.

Yesterday I was in a wind storm.

Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.

I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back?

They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.

Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?

Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.

Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?

A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.

I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.

Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"

....yes, it is "long time no see."

Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!

Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.

My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.

Have a guess who came crawling back?

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

Guess what.

What?

Your mum saw your 1 inch.

I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.

He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.

What do you call a black person scuba diving? A black diver (an armor set from DeepWoken). Did anyone laugh at that, or?? Augh, I guess I'm alone.

I guess you can say he xxxpired.

My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

I said, "Literally."