Grooming jokes
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?
Slick her hair, she looks 15.
I like my clocks like I like people.
Under 12.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mustache." "Mustache who?" "I mustache you a question, but I'm shaving it for later."
Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.
A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."
When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower usually gets turned on!
What NFL teams parts with James Charles!?
Green Bay Packers & New England Patriots
What's the best thing about taking a shower with a 12 year old Philippino girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks 10.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
I’m literally scratching my itchy balls right now.
I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.
A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"
"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."
"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"
"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
Yo, hairline is a distraction to my barber because he wanna fix it so bad (because of how bad it looks).
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
I once masturbated in the bathroom.
I was looking for something, for a little help.
Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.
I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.