Grooming jokes

ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.

A woman walks out of the bathroom, winks at her husband and says, “I shaved down there; you know what that means.”

The husband responds, “Yeah, the drain is clogged.”

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair, she looks 15.

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair back, she looks 15.

Even the barber couldn't fix that hairline.

Had to go to the barbers just to get your hairline sorted.

How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.

How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?

He toasts the groom.

I like my clocks like I like people.

Under 12.

I once masturbated in the bathroom.

I was looking for something, for a little help.

Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.

I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!

You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.

You abuse me that I have no beards, but your sugar daddy shaved them off to look cute. 🤔

I think your hairline might have the hiccups.

Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.

What's the difference between a gay man and a hairline?

The hairline is way straighter.

Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.

Charlen's hairline is sooooo fat because it was never brushed.

I’m literally scratching my itchy balls right now.

I groomed 2 minors today.

A dog was in the vet's waiting room and another dog asked, "What are you here for?"

"Well, my owner was looking under her bed for something while naked and I couldn't resist, so I mounted up and screwed her senseless."

"Oh, so you're here to get neutered?"

"Nah, I'm just getting my nails clipped."