How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
What do bees brush their hair with?
A honeycomb.
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.
Sir, I mustache you a question...
Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"