Greeting jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
Hi, how are you doing today?
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Merry Christmas, my fellow hoes!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
How did the guy greet his wife?
"Howdy, sister!"
What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
What did the teacher say to the student?
Orange you glad to see me?
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
Hi person reading this.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you ♥️.
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
Hello there, have a good day!
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.